Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wow... September Already, Huh?!

And i haven't posted since August 12th!  Sorry 'bout that. 

Here's a pic of Boyfriend and me (because i hate a post without a pic!), taken about a month ago, standing in front of those Sunflowers "for scale".  I *told* you they were tall!  =-)  (And there's My Lovely Assistant on the left side.  She's so "subtle"!  She's sneaky!  She loves to be included in pictures.)

I've been going through some stuff over here.

I haven't built up the nerve yet to go talk with a therapist.  I'm not really sure why...
Well, i have at least begun reading a book that my friend's therapist recommended to her.  It's called "The Sexual Healing Journey" by Wendy Maltz.  It's making sense so far. 

And it's making me think about things. 

I've kinda gotten "stuck", though.  It's caused me to start thinking about a time when i was younger than six...  There was this one time...  I don't really remember a lot of it, but i remember
i was really scared.
I was so scared that i was hiding under the bed.  I remember there was a lady there (i *think* she was a college student who was "rooming" with us at the time), but i don't remember anything before this, or why i was so scared.

But i'm afraid that some of my mistrust of females comes from that time.
... so i think some therapy should be helpful.
But i just can't pick up the phone yet.
I will.
Just not right now.
Not today.
Maybe tomorrow.  (Maybe i'm actually Scarlet O'Hara.)
Maybe next week.

I know change is scary.  I know possibilities in the future can be scary.  I know where i am right now is "safe".

I'm working up to it.

Thanks for listening.
I'll be back.  Hopefully it won't be too long...