Thursday, January 12, 2012

I Know, I Know...

What can i say: I'm a Slacker!

I'm not *exactly* a Slacker, though.  I *have* been busy.
Plus the Sun hasn't shone around here for a few days, so i haven't been able to take any pictures of my latest Painting, so i haven't had a whole lot of desire to post...

Okay, okay!  So i'm *not* a Slacker...

I'm a Procrastinator!   [rolling eyes] Whatever.

The Sun finally decided to shine today, so i got my busy butt out there and took photos of my latest Painting!  Yay!   Go Me!  =-)

I'm sort of proud of this one. 
I  know when you see it, you're gonna think it's a religious Icon, or a Saint, or something similar, but, honestly it's NOT!

Let me start from the beginning, which is actually a very good place to begin.

I took an online painting course from Connie that lasted 6 weeks, and i discovered that i ABSOLUTELY LOVE painting!  Her course is about the Process, and not about the Product (the outcome, the actual picture). 
(If you're at all interested, she has a FREE course you can try first to see if you might like her paid course;  Total Alignment.  LOVED it!   Then took a paid course;  BIG.  LOVED IT too!)

Anyway, i took her free course and then took a paid course, and then...
The course ended, as all things much, eventually.

So then i had a decision to make.
Do i wait and take another course with Connie, 
or do i try to decide what to paint...  On My Own?!?!

Well, her next course didn't start until January (this was back in November), and i honestly didn't want to wait that long. 
I wanted to paint, 
and i wanted to paint *now*!

But then i had another decision to make:
...what do i paint *about*?!?

Last month, i got to thinking about "what do i paint about now", and i decided to touch on the subject that i discovered while still in the beginning of the BIG course:
Why do i hold back?
Why do i deny myself so much, and worry so much?

So *that's* what i painted about.

"Why Do I Hold Back?"

It felt good while i was painting.
I thought about the fact that i've been "holding back" all my life.
I thought about how "holding back" stems from Worry.
I thought about lots of things while i was painting, but i didn't allow myself to think about whether my painting "looked right", or whether it was "good".
I Just Painted.
I painted what "felt right", and what felt good.
I talked out loud to myself while i was painting.
I asked myself questions that i didn't *need* to answer at that time.

I talked to myself A LOT while i painted this one.
And if felt Right.
It felt Good.

I didn't come up with any "answers" during this painting time, but at least i was asking myself the "right" questions.  =-)

I *know* they were the right questions, because they "painted out".
(Don't ask me to explain that one; i'm not really sure how to answer it.  I just know in my Heart that what i was doing was Right and Good.)  =-)

Sorry.  I've had coffee, so i tend to yak a lot when i've had coffee.
Without further "ado", here's

"Holding Back & Worry"  (Dec. 2011)

I know it's difficult to tell without anything to "scale"  it, but
it's about 3' wide x 5' tall.

And sorry about the shadows too!
Here's another shot where i moved the Painting a bit 
to effectively "move" the shadows...

I "warned" you before that she looks kinda like a religious Icon or Saint or somemthing.  That was NOT my intention when i was painting it!
I was just "painting what i felt"!
Painting without questioning "why".
Painting that which felt "Right".

...did i mention that i don't like her eyes?
I think they're "fuxxed up"!
But that's not my problem!
That is what "came out", so that's what's there.

...and that's really why i'm not posting any close-ups of this one.
I don't want you to nit-pick either.
It is what it is.

...and i like it.
Now, don't get me wrong!  If i sit around and "analyze" it, then i can see EVERY LITTLE IMPERFECTION!
But that's not the point in Connie's painting courses!
The point is
to paint!
And so that's what i did.


I hope you're having a marvelous day!

...and if you're not?
Well, then, you'd better turn around!
Lift your head up and LAUGH OUT LOUD!
That always makes me feel a little bit better,
even when i'm in one of my Dark Places.

It's another glorious day!
And you've been given the miracle and blessing of Being a Part of It!!!

Take care!


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