Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wow... September Already, Huh?!

And i haven't posted since August 12th!  Sorry 'bout that. 

Here's a pic of Boyfriend and me (because i hate a post without a pic!), taken about a month ago, standing in front of those Sunflowers "for scale".  I *told* you they were tall!  =-)  (And there's My Lovely Assistant on the left side.  She's so "subtle"!  She's sneaky!  She loves to be included in pictures.)

I've been going through some stuff over here.

I haven't built up the nerve yet to go talk with a therapist.  I'm not really sure why...
Well, i have at least begun reading a book that my friend's therapist recommended to her.  It's called "The Sexual Healing Journey" by Wendy Maltz.  It's making sense so far. 

And it's making me think about things. 

I've kinda gotten "stuck", though.  It's caused me to start thinking about a time when i was younger than six...  There was this one time...  I don't really remember a lot of it, but i remember
i was really scared.
I was so scared that i was hiding under the bed.  I remember there was a lady there (i *think* she was a college student who was "rooming" with us at the time), but i don't remember anything before this, or why i was so scared.

But i'm afraid that some of my mistrust of females comes from that time.
... so i think some therapy should be helpful.
But i just can't pick up the phone yet.
I will.
Just not right now.
Not today.
Maybe tomorrow.  (Maybe i'm actually Scarlet O'Hara.)
Maybe next week.

I know change is scary.  I know possibilities in the future can be scary.  I know where i am right now is "safe".

I'm working up to it.

Thanks for listening.
I'll be back.  Hopefully it won't be too long...



  1. Love those sunflowers. It's the second official day of spring here and I'll be planting some soon. Good on you for the work you're doing with yourself.

  2. Wow, those are huge sunflowers! Wonderful photo :)
    You'll be ready when you are ready, be patient with yourself.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment, it's a pleasure to "meet you" too!

  3. Those are honking big sunflowers! Either that or you guys are midgets! Wait. Not that there's anything WRONG with that! LOL!

    Go to therapy when you are ready. Then you will be more open and accepting of guidance and therapy, in my humble opinion.

  4. Wow, you do take long breaks between posts! lol