If Not Now... When?

(photo by Bunny)

"Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life."


- Brian Andreas




I hope your week is lovely.
=-)

Wow... September Already, Huh?!

And i haven't posted since August 12th!  Sorry 'bout that. 

Here's a pic of Boyfriend and me (because i hate a post without a pic!), taken about a month ago, standing in front of those Sunflowers "for scale".  I *told* you they were tall!  =-)  (And there's My Lovely Assistant on the left side.  She's so "subtle"!  She's sneaky!  She loves to be included in pictures.)

Anyway...

I've been going through some stuff over here.

I haven't built up the nerve yet to go talk with a therapist.  I'm not really sure why...

Well, i have at least begun reading a book that my friend's therapist recommended to her.  It's called "The Sexual Healing Journey" by Wendy Maltz.  It's making sense so far. 

And it's making me think about things. 

I've kinda gotten "stuck", though.  It's caused me to start thinking about a time when i was younger than six...  There was this one time...  I don't really remember a lot of it, but i remember

i was really scared.

I was so scared that i was hiding under the bed.  I remember there was a lady there (i *think* she was a college student who was "rooming" with us at the time), but i don't remember anything before this, or why i was so scared.

But i'm afraid that some of my mistrust of females comes from that time.

... so i think some therapy should be helpful.

But i just can't pick up the phone yet.

I will.

Just not right now.

Not today.

Maybe tomorrow.  (Maybe i'm actually Scarlet O'Hara.)

Maybe next week.

I know change is scary.  I know possibilities in the future can be scary.  I know where i am right now is "safe".

I'm working up to it.

Thanks for listening.

I'll be back.  Hopefully it won't be too long...

=-)

I cannot tell you how many times in each week i have come to my computer with the intention of writing a post on this blog, yet i somehow get lost in looking at everyone else's blogs.

I also cannot tell you how many times i lie awake at night thinking about "my next quilt" and yet, when i wake in the morning, it never gets started.

Can you say "procrastination"?

I come by it honestly, though.  Both of my parents have long been glorious procrastinators.
I know that's NO EXCUSE for me, though.
I am my own person, and not merely a product of their DNA.

So, guess what i'm going to do next?
I'm going to go work on something in my sewing room!

That's my "puppy", Allie.  She has absolutely *nothing*  to do with this post, but isn't she CUTE!?!  This is how she tells me "It's time to eat!"

And this is a picture that Bunny took a few weeks ago.  I have Sunflowers in my back yard that are FOURTEEN FEET HIGH!  I love to go in the back and just

look

at

them.

They are so peaceful and calming to stand under and look at and watch the bees lazily float from one to another.  And if i sit on my back porch long enough, i eventually am rewarded with seeing the beautiful yellow finches that come eat all the seeds.

Come sit with me a while in the calm, peaceful glory.

AFTER i sew a bit!

=-)