Thursday, August 2, 2012

August 2nd, 2012

I've pondered whether to broach this topic here or not, but, ya know what?
It's *my* blog, right?
So, why not...

I've been having ideas swirling around in my head lately about 
Rite of Passage
and the notion that lots of people don't "do" church, so...  Where do they get their "Rituals" now?

For years, I've loved the book series "Clan of the Cave Bear" by Jean M Auel, and in that series, there's one "scene" where a girl was raped, and she "fell into" a deep depression.  The main character, Ayla, and a "Medicine Man"/"Elder" did a "Cleansing Ceremony" for her.
That really stuck with me.
Especially when my daughter confessed to me that she'd been raped...
I offered a "Cleansing Ceremony" to her, but she's never said if she wants one or not...  So i take that as a No.   (no judgement)

But i've still been pondering ceremonies/rituals and such.
I have a friend whose husband recently left her.  That's a whole 'nother story, but in listening to her going through her "trials", it's occurred to me that maybe she would like a "Divorce Ceremony".  
You know, when you get married, all your friends and family are there behind you, showing you support and wishing you well.  But when you get divorced, you're usually all by yourself, and you feel unloved and unlovable, and alone... and maybe ashamed.  
I think a "Divorce Ceremony" would be an uplifting thing, with family and/or friends there if you want.  But with someone "officiating", telling you that you ARE lovable, and you ARE loved, and you ARE worthy, and

You Will Be Alright.
You are still YOU, and you always HAVE you, and you are Someone you can count on.
That what you are feeling is Normal.
That, this too shall pass.
That you're not "a Loser".

Sometimes... LOTS of times, we NEED to hear things from someone ELSE in order for us to really HEAR those things.
Sometimes we're just "too much in our own heads" to really listen to the Wisdom that's inside ourselves, and *that's* when we need someone else to help us through.  *That's* when we need "someone official" to let us know that

Everything Is As It Should Be.

I think i have the "perfect" back yard to hold these "Ceremonies".
And I'm beginning to think i have the Heart to hold these "Rituals".

I don't know any more than the next person, but i DO know that i would love to bring Comfort to others.

Here's what i'm thinking when i say "Ritual" and "Ceremony":
- Coming of Age Ceremony for Girls (and perhaps Boys, if i can "enlist" my husband or another adult male)
- Divorce Ceremony
- Menopause Ceremony
- Cleansing Ritual (in cases of molestation/rape) (And i KNOW this is a realllllly heavy one, and the person also NEEDS counseling, but this may help)
- Breaking Up Ceremony
- Death of a Loved One/Letting Go Ritual (again, counselling is needed here also)

These ceremonies are to mark the passages of certain "times" in our lives.
Something where others will add their Wisdom and Love to help ease you into a transition.

Anyway, that's what's been swirling through my head a lot lately.

What do you think about it?


1 comment:

  1. well, maybe this isn't exactly the ceremony you were talking about, but when I got divorced, I had a Divorce Party. I made up funny invitations, had dirty cartoons taped all over my house, only served the drink "orgasm" in a punch bowl, and had a large penis cake with the words "a hard man is good to find" written across it! Ah, good times! :)