And Now It's Monday Again...

One more pic of the "Windy" wall hanging:

Well, Boyfriend & i went to Va. Saturday to help out my in-laws, intending to come back that evening, but, of course, it didn't work out that way...
Mom-in-law was sick. We *knew* she was sick, but we didn't really know just how sick. We took her to the doctor, and she has *Pneumonia*!
CRAP!

As i sit here in my kitchen, i wonder if i'll *ever* go to see *my* Mother again...

And then i wonder if all this one-thing-after-another will simply resolve itself in Va. only to be replaced with a *new* one-thing-after-another with *my* Mother in SC!?
The craziness in Va. is REALLY bothering Boyfriend 'cause he's the kind of person who likes to have a schedule. To know what's happening next and then next after that, and what the date will be for when something will end and the date for when the next thing will begin.
He's a PLANNER!
And this thing about stuff having NO PLAN is driving him CRAZY!

Me? I'm a day-to-day, moment-by-moment kind of person, so that part is alright with me.
It's the sitting-in-the-nursing-home-all-day, doing-NOTHING that makes me want to VOMIT! That, and the way the nursing home is
SO DEPRESSING.

When's the last time you were in a nursing home?
Have you EVER been in one?
Even if it was 20 years ago, trust me, nothing much has changed in the majority of nursing homes.
They are DEPRESSING.
DEPRESSINGLY depressing.

I don't EVER want to be shushed-off to one.


OKAY!
Can i find some sunshine today?! (Metaphorically speaking, or IRL. Either one would be nice!) =-)

I'm leaving shortly to go to the YMCA for either Yoga or Zumba.
I know, i know. Those are two very different things!
But that's okay!
I'm looking for Sunshine, and i can find it at *either* place!
=-)
And then i think i'll work on a new project at my sewing table!

You go find some Sunshine of your own! Your day can only improve!

=-)

Oh Well...

I'm off once again. Boyfriend & i are headed to Virginia this morning. My Pop-in-law is in a nursing home, and my Mom-in-law is sick so she's not going to see him. That presents a problem for her 'cause she goes there EVERY day, for MOST of the day, but she doesn't want to get him sick 'cause he has enough crap to deal with now.
My PIL has Parkinsonism (some docs say Parkinsons & some say Parkinsonism. I don't know what the difference is...), and he also has brain atrophy. It means his brain is shrinking. With the Parkinsons, his limbs are getting shaky and stiff, and with the atrophy, he's losing the ability to swallow, getting demensia, etc. He doesn't remember his son & daughters anymore. It's really sad...

Every time i go to that nursing home, though, i just wanna cry. And sometimes when i'm sitting there all day, i just wanna vomit.
I'm sorry to be dumping this on you, but i feel like i have to be "the strong one" for my husband, so i try not to tell him about it. I'm sure that if i'm feeling like this, HE'S feeling it WAAAAY more.

...and then i think how, since my Mom has Alzheimer's... one day she not remember who I am.
And now i may start crying.
It's just terrible that the people you hold so close and dear all your life may have to one day face all this horrible shit! I look at my daughters and tell them that if i ever forget them, i want them to know that IS NOT MY INTENTION!!!

Okay! Now that i've cheered everyone up!
I'm sorry.
I started this simply to let you know that i'll be out of town today, and possibly tomorrow.
Plus, i worked a WEE bit on the Blue WaveRunner yesterday.
AND i worked on the label for the 60s Song wall hanging, and i'm really *thrilled* with it. I'll have to "borrow" a camera to let you see it.
I also got a jelly roll to start on a new baby quilt.
No. Nobody i know is having a baby, but it's for the future. =-)

So that's what's up in my little world.
I hope everything is going Great for YOU! =-)

Moving Around and Organizing

Hello Everyone!

To those of you who've sent me well-wishes for my Father-in-law,

I thank you.

However, he is in the "end stages" of life, with no hope of "recovery". He has Parkisonism and brain atrophy (his brain is shrinking), so he will slowly fade away every day, or something like that. My Mother-in-law still cannot grasp that concept, and she hopes everyday that he'll "get better", and we cannot tell her differently. She gets too upset when we try to talk about it... And we cannot bare to see her cry... So we sort-of dance this dance, and come what will...

On to happier things! (Because Life goes on!)

I've moved most of my "stuff" around and think i'm finally ready to post about it. =-)

My sewing table & cutting table used to be in the dining room, and all the rest of my "stuff" was upstairs in the Art Room. Before i started reading all these blogs, ALL of my stuff was up in the Art Room, but Crazy Mom (indirectly) showed me the error of my ways. In one of her posts, she pointed out that by having your machine in a "prominent part" of the house, you would be more likely to sew in those "in-between moments" (a.k.a: down time). She was right, you know! =-)

Well... I haven't exactly been happy with having *some* of my stuff readily accessible and *some* of my stuff "all the way upstairs". (Sorry. I guess i have become another one of those spoiled Americans!)

Anyway, I've been slowly working on getting ALL of my stuff moved into Boyfriend's office (with permission, of course. He's good like that!)

WARNING:: I DID NOT clean up before i took these pix!!! I'm just not that way. I believe in living in my house, and i don't apologize for it. That's what it's FOR! =-)

Here are pictures of Before:

This was taken with the office at my back:

This next one was taken with the kitchen at my back and the office is just barely visible through the door on the left:

This next one was taken with the living room at my back, and you can see the office through the door ahead. That's where my sewing stuff is gonna go!

In this one, you can see both tables, sewing & cutting. It's a good set-up 'cause i have plenty of lighting, and everything is within reach. I usually have the ironing board where i'm standing, but i have NO idea where i'll put it once i move everything into the office... Still working on that...

These next photos are of the office, Before the moving/organizing:

In this one you can see the kitchen through the door (center-right of photo). Boyfriend's desk is to my left, & the back door is to my right. The bookshelf will be moved so i can put my cabinet there. I know there's not a lot of room, but Boyfriend says it'll work! =-)

In this next one, the door to the kitchen is on the left, and you can see the door that leads outside in the center-right. (Yes, we have 2 dining room sets. I haven't gotten rid of ANY furniture in a few YEARS because my daughters are of an age where they could move out at any time, and i don't want them to spend their first checks on furniture, like *I* had to!) Anyway, this is where my sewing & cutting tables will go.

Next is a shot with the dining room at my back. This is roughly the spot where my sewing table will go. I'll have a clear view of the back yard, and i should have sun streaming in my windows. Yay! (Is everybody ready for Spring? It's been one CRAZY Winter, hasn't it!)

In this shot, I'm standing between the office & the dining room, looking to the right so you get a good look at Boyfriend's desk. I feel like i'll be squeezing him in there, but he sort-of volunteered for this, so he can't back down now! =-)

So there you have it!

That's all the "Before" pictures. I'll be back with the "After" pix as soon as i get everything moved! =-)

Hopefully that'll be before next week!

And hopefully i won't have another week of "unplanned" family circumstances to hold me back. =-)

'Til next Monday!

=-)

A Day Late...

Well, of course, the "best laid plans" have been "laid to the side".

I had planned to have a post about moving my sewing stuff all to one room, with pictures and everything, and even post about my FINISHED wall hanging! But my husband and i had to leave town, so... none of that today. Plus, I'm a day late 'cause i had planned on posting every Monday, but... Oh well.

My Father-in-law was admitted to the hospital on Monday (the 8th?), and Boyfriend & i went to Virginia on Saturday (the 13th). There wasn't much we could do other than sit around in the hospital room last week, or so Boyfriend thought. So now we are still in Virginia... sitting around in a hospital room...

But my Mom-in-law is happy that we are here and able to help her handle decisions and other stuff. Pop-in-law is doing well, all things considered. He has Parkinsonism, brain atrophy (shrinking), and dementia, as i posted about many months ago.

Anyway, I wanted to touch base with you. Keep you up to date. Let you know i haven't forgotten about any of you. =-)
I'm hoping we'll go back home on Friday or Saturday (the 19th or 20th), finish organizing and moving, and take more pictures, and post about it all for you.

'Til then...
Take Care!!!
=-)

Does He...?

Does he remember the Korean War, from which he received a Purple Heart? Does he remember their wedding day, which was over 50 years ago? Does he remember the day any of his three children were born? Does he remember... anything at all... ?

We went to Virginia this past weekend to visit my in-laws. My Father-in-law has dementia and brain atrophy (his brain is shrinking). I talked a bit about it in a previous post.

I really don't know if he remembers anything at all because he really doesn't talk now. If we ask him a question, he pauses, thinks, sometimes moves his lips just the slllightest bit, and then either nods or shakes his head. If he replies at all. I don't think he even spoke ten words the entire weekend! I think a small part of it may be because when my Mom-in-law asks him something, she doesn't wait for him to work things out in his head first. She asks, he starts to ponder, and then she asks again...
I don't know...

But do not interpret that as me being accusing or anything! 'Cause I am not accusing anyone of anything!


All I know for certain is:

this sucks!!!

And if you already read my very first post, you also know that my Mom has Alzheimer's... so I have a bunch more of similar/different crap to look forward to!


I apologize!!! I did not start this out to be some depressing diatribe or something!


I started it just to let you know that Boyfriend and I went to Virginia on Saturday morning and got back yesterday evening. We had a good visit. Boyfriend's Mom is doing well. His sister lives next door to them, and she's having a good summer (she's a teacher). She helps her parents out on a daily/mostly daily basis.

But now they at least have someone from the V.A. (Veteran's Administration) coming out for a few hours most-every-weekday to help out. Someone comes and Mom-in-law can get out of the house to get her hair fixed (a weekly ritual with her sister), or to go grocery shopping, or for whatever reason. It gives the two of them a much-needed break. And we are all thankful for it!

If it weren't for the V.A. I'm not sure what we'd do.

I'm not sure what the Medicaid rules are in your state, but in NC and VA, it's really bleak for anyone who's in the middle bracket of financial stability (or whatever you call it ... middle-class?).
Someone like my Mom's husband, who's a millionaire, will never have to worry about Medicaid, and someone who is poor and depends on the State already, has nothing to lose either.
It's all the people in the middle of those two extremes who have the most to lose.

For instance: If my Father-in-law falls or has a stroke or whatever and needs to go to a Nursing Home (or round-the-clock in-home care), Medicaid will kick in (if she chooses). Then my Mom-in-law will have to give half of everything (except the house) to Medicaid before they'll pay anything to the Nursing Home. 401K? Has to be cashed and half goes to the state. Bonds, stocks, savings? Half of it has to go to the State.
And if her husband dies the next day or the next week or the next month? Medicaid does not pro-rate anything, and they don't give her back any of her money! It's just gone!

I understand that Medicaid has to get its money from somewhere, but, DAMN!!!
This man has worked hard all his life to make sure that his wife is well taken care of in her old age, whether he's there or not! He didn't do it just to give half of everything to the State!

So maybe you think you'll just give half of your money to your children first, before Medicaid kicks in? Think again! You have to give your children whatever-it-is (the house, money, whatever) at least SIX YEARS before you start using Medicaid - or else the kids'll have to give it back! (Time varies by State. For NC & VA it used to be three, then five, and now it's six years. Who knows when they'll change it again?!)

And if it's just you? Guess what the State gets? Yep. EVERYTHING.
For instance, Kitty's boyfriend's Dad died two years ago (cancer), so now it's just B and his Mom. If she has a stroke today and needs to go into a home (or round-the-clock care), she can't afford to pay for all of that by herself, so Medicaid would need to kick in... Well, guess where that would leave B?
Homeless.
Medicaid (i.e. the State) would take everything, cash in everything, so his Mom could be taken care of by the State/Medicaid.

I know. Sad.
He's 19 and nowhere near ready to take care of himself. He doesn't have a job, savings or anything. He still lives at home. I could go on, but I think you have the picture.

Check out the Medicaid laws in your state. It's really heartbreaking! And we have more information than the "average joe" because we've hired an attorney who specializes in Medicaid!



Okay, okay...
I'll stop ranting and raving now.


I'm going to go work on Bunny's quilt!
It's coming along nicely, thank you! =-)

I'm Tired But...

But I wanted to write something today.
We left Concord this morning after having breakfast with my Dad at a local diner (Punchy's). It's been what seems like forever since I last saw my Dad. In reality, I saw him about three & a half weeks ago... That is a long time to me. :-)

Anyway, the 'we' I was referring to is my husband, "Boyfriend", and me. We left for Danville, VA to spend the weekend with his Mom & Dad.

Boyfriend's Dad has what's called Parkinsonism.
It's like Parkinson's but has other symptoms with it... Or something like that. :-)
Anyway, his Dad has Dementia. He was always quiet, but now he's even more quiet. But he's not having any combativeness or contrariness or anything like that. He's still a sweet and easy to get along with man. He remembers his daughters & son. He's very slow to answer any question. I'm not sure he knows what we're talking about. It seems like it takes him a long time to process what we say. You can see him working on it in his mind...
He takes lots of meds, four times a day. Just a few years ago, he didn't take anything except a baby aspirin! He only feels like lying around all day, and my MIL won't make him get up and do his exercises or anything.
We know that's not good, but we can't make her make him.

Boyfriend's mom is basically taking it all in stride. She's doing well for the most part. Yesterday, Boyfriend, his two sisters and his mom talked to a lawyer, and most of what she had to say was basically depressing. But after some time and pondering, we feel a little more at ease with the legalities, I think.

All any of us can do is take it all in stride. Sit back and breathe deeply a number of times each day. Trust that all will end as it should, in its own time...

I keep reminding myself of this.


We've had a fairly full day and are going to bed now.
Thanks for stopping by. :-)

-W