Ninth Painting

First allow me to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving Day.

Hopefully you are able to be with family... or at least with those you love and who love you.  =-)  

Now on to my Painting post...

I hesitated posting this painting...

And now that i realize it will be published on T'Day, i hesitate even more...

But...

I prefer to keep on keepin' on (as we used to say in the '70s).  =-)

Connie told us to paint a memory this week, and this was the very first one that came up.  Once it was there, i just couldn't get it off my mind.

And then, i just knew it was exactly the memory i needed to paint.

I knew it would be difficult to do, and *that* was why i *had* to paint it.

I posted a long time ago about being molested.

I dealt with it and worked through it a long time ago.

Then my youngest daughter was molested, and that brought up all my old memories.

And when Connie told us to paint a memory, *this* was the one that came up and wouldn't back down.

So i painted it the best i could.

I don't love it, but i painted it.
So in keeping with posting all of my paintings, there you go.  =-)


After i finished it, i had lots of other memories come up; happy memories.  So i decided to paint a different Memory Painting...
I'll show you that one tomorrow.


'Til then


Have a GREAT day!!!  Hopefully it's full of Love and Loved Ones.  
=-)

Eighth Painting

Okay, so *this* one was really fun!

Like i told you, the first paintings Connie told us to do were 

Scribble (just paint with scribbles)

Line  (just paint with lines & color)

Shape  (just paint shapes, like circles, triangles, etc)

Then, Connie told us to "Paint like a 5 year old!"

Now, what she meant wasn't to paint what you would paint if you were 5, but to paint with the *process* that a 5 year old uses;

just paint, not worrying about precision or proportion or any Art School worries.  

Just paint.

Just do it, show someone you love, and then

Drop it!

It's done.  Don't worry about it.  Don't question it.  Don't point out your mistakes.  Heck, there *are* no mistakes!

A 5 year old gets a piece of paper, some paint & a brush

puts a picture on the paper

takes it home & shows it to Mom

and then

hops away, on to something else!

That's the kind of attitude Connie wanted us to paint with.

And I LIKED IT!   =-)

Well, let me show it to you:

Isn't it cute?!

And whimsical!

I had fun doing it, too.  I really love painting, and it surprises me every time! I didn't know i would love painting so much!  =-)

I've never considered myself an Artist, but i'm beginning to think i just may be...

Whatever.

Anyway,

I'M HAVING FUN!!!

You should try it too.  =-)

'Til tomorrow.

=-)

Seventh Painting

Today's painting is another Shape painting.  

Nothing to brag about, but i had fun doing it.  =-)

It feels SO good to do some Art each day.  =-)

I've really enjoyed taking Connie's course, BIG.

She has a free course you can try for yourself!

What do you have to lose?  =-)

Hope your part of the World is doing GREAT!

Back tomorrow with another painting...

=-)

Sixth Painting

So first, Connie had us paint Scribbles.

Then she had us paint Lines.

Next she had us paint Shapes.

Any shape.  Circle, triangle,  square, star, whatever our intuition told us.  

Whatever felt good.  =-)

So here's what i did:

Simple!  =-)

And that's the secret to Connie's course, BIG; make it simple, starting out.

That way, there's no "right" or "wrong".

There's nothing to "mess up".

And since it's on (basically just cheap) paper, there's not a lot your Inner Critic can say, 'cause this is "just an exercise".  

And again,

i felt SO GOOD while painting this!

Yes, i know it's simple.

Yes,  i know "anybody" can do it.

Yes, i know it's NO Masterpiece!

...

And i DON'T CARE!

I STILL felt SO GOOD while painting it.  =-)

'Cause it's NOT about the Painting (the noun).

It's about the Process of painting (the verb)!

And i REALLY REALLY LIKE the VERB!!!

=-)

Thank you Connie for this wonderful adventure!

=-)

Fifth Painting

Okay...  So it looks a lot like my Fourth painting.

But that's okay because it's a process.

And according to Connie, it's alllll about The Process (and NOT the Painting [the Noun])!

Another "Lines" painting from the first week of BIG:

And, once again, i felt sooooo good doing it!  

=-)

Fourth Painting

So for the first week of BIG, Connie wanted us to paint with Scribbles, then with Lines, and then with Shapes.

Here is my "Lines" painting.

Do i think this is great?

Nope.

But did i *feel* great doing it?

YOU BET!!!

For some reason, i feel SO GOOD when i Paint!

I LOVE IT!!!

So painting is quickly becoming something i think about alot.

And  painting is becoming something i *want* to do, too.

Like, Every Day.

I'll be back tomorrow to show you my next "new thing".  

=-)

Third Painting

Not much to look at, and didn't take me very long either, but the important thing is...

I'm Painting!  =-)

Connie at Dirty FootPrints Studio, and of Fearless Painting fame, "warned" us that we'll have some ugly paintings, and that 

"That's Okay!"

So during the past 5 weeks of her course, my Fear Gremlin (aka Inner Critic) has been pretty quiet.

And that's a VERY GOOD THING!  =-)

Hoping you're having a Wonderful Day!

I'm off to Paint some more!

=-)

Second Painting

So here's the second painting i did with Connie's course, BIG:

I can't even begin to tell you how good i felt while i was painting this.
And i've had this experience almost *every* time i've painted.


Connie tells us to "let go" and to go with the flow.
She also tells us of ways to forget about our "Inner Gremlin", our "Fear Gremlin", our Inner Critic.  (Different people call "it" different things.)


But this one was Free-ing.
This one felt good.
And then i was getting mad while i was doing it.
But Connie had warned us about the emotions that would come up, so i knew it was okay, and i immediately went to my journal and wrote about what i was feeling.  
It helped.
It felt good to be delving into all that was coming up.


Once again, Painting felt Good.




I'll be back soon about my next painting.
=-)

First Painting

I know it's been a looong time since i last posted...

And lots has been going on over here...

But i thought i should at least *try* to catch you up.  =-)

So, i went to this website and 

Fell. 

In.

Love!

And since then, i've been 

PAINTING!

Keep in mind that i am NOT a painter.

I don't really even consider myself an Artist...  but...

But Connie has convinced me that i don't *need* to be.

Or that i already am.

Or whatever.

It doesn't matter!

It doesn't matter if i consider myself an Artist, or if i *am* an Artist.

What matters is that i Paint.

And i have found that when i Paint

I

Feel 

Fabulous!!!

So i've spent the past 5 weeks in a painting course with Connie

and i've been painting.

And IT FEELS WONDERFUL!!!

It feels so good when i paint.

I don't think about anything but the feel of painting (the Verb).

Here is the first painting i did in Connie's course "BIG":

I was  supposed to just "scribble".

And i did!

But it became *more* than just scribbling.  And since i watched all of Connie's videos for the week, i knew that it was okay if it turned into more than just "scribbling".  

So i went with it.

And it felt so good.

As Connie suggested, i also journaled along with my painting, but i'll not bore you with that right now.

Just suffice to say that once you put yourself in Connie's confident and loving hands, you will be able to paint something.

I am SO enjoying this journey with her.

And you would too.

I'll post more of what i've been painting.

I'll try to be back tomorrow.

=-)

Just Paint Something!

Make It Work

You may not want to read this post.
It's looong and full of tears.
And probably boring to you.
But i need to "talk" this out.
I haven't allowed myself to talk about it with anyone yet, and i just gotta "let it out" now.
You can simply come back tomorrow for your Quote of the Day thing, k?

Or continue if you wanna try it.
But don't say i didn't warn ya!
=-)

Bunny, Nov. 1989

I knew on this day that one day she would move out and start her own life... 

  

My little sister, Z (on the right), stealing her cookie.

She's so precious!  And typically happy... just because!

I curled her hair for this photoshoot.

She hated it, but let me do it anyway.

She was a little bit of a tomboy when she was young...

Precious AND sweet!

Boyfriend nailed it when he said

"She has the heart of an Angel."

I have a TON of photos i could show you...

But i'll only cry, and you'll be bored and uncomfortable, so...

Here she is at Thirteen

Here we are when she turned Fourteen.

She's been by my side for so long...

At Fifteen

After she had her wisdom teeth taken out

Seventeen

Out in Nature, where she loves to be.

High School Graduation, 2008

I knew then that it probably wouldn't be long, but i stayed in Denial...

It's safe in Denial...

For a while, anyway.

But sooner or later, Reality comes crashing down on you.

At the age of almost 22, Bunny moved out this past Saturday (October 1st).

I haven't allowed myself to cry...

Until now.

I've forced myself to only look at it from Her point of view.

She's been so excited!  It's a brand new Adventure for her!

She moved into an apartment 30 minutes away, with her boyfriend. 

She's never moved before (that she remembers).

Everything went smoothly.  Nothing got broken.

She texted me last night that all the boxes are unpacked now, and they're almost ready to start hanging stuff on the walls.

She's so Happy.

=-)

So now here i sit with my own feelings.

It seems like she's always been there with me.

She was my First Baby.

She is always so loving and kind and understanding and sweet.

And she gives the Best Hugs in the World!!!

I know it's not like she's dead.  I'm not saying that at all!

I know it's not like she's moved to California or Japan or someplace (as far away from me as she can).

But she's not Here anymore.

I can't just go upstairs and chat with her or hug her if i want.

Because before, when she *was* here, she would stop what she was doing if i wanted a hug.

Yep, she spoiled me as much as i spoiled her.  =-)

She's still spoiling me by texting me every day...  And by answering her phone when i call.

I know it's early yet, but at least i still feel the love.

I moved out of my Mom's the day after i graduated High School.

I honestly don't remember moving out; i've blocked it out.  I was so angry and upset with my Mom.  And hurt by her.  It took me a couple of years to forgive her! 

But this move is so different.  I can't even compare them.

I know Bunny's just a phone call away, or a short drive away.

But i miss her SO MUCH already!

And i know things will never be the same.

I know deep down that each day when we wake up, things are never the same.  But this is different.

It's a "New Era" in my life.

And i'm honestly not ready for it.

Oh, i knew it was coming!  I  knew the day she was born that this day would come.  If only i had  written myself a note on that day to remind myself  what life was like before children.  What did Boyfriend and i do with our time?  What did we do as a couple?

I know i can never "go back".  But now i have to "invent" a new reality for myself.

I just never imagined a Reality without a Bunny in it on a daily basis.

And i am so sad.

I  know i still have Kitty!

And i'm *trying* to be positive in all this.

Now Kitty has me and her Daddy all to herself!  I guess i'm just not sure that's a good thing in her eyes...  She's pretty independent, ya know.  She's pretty self-sufficient.

And one day, she'll "betray" me too.

I know it's coming.

I guess that's what's also bothering me.

I knew from the start that they would leave the nest.

I just never thought about what i would do with myself when that time came.

I need to stop feeling sorry for myself!

I need to let go.

I need to look at it from Her point of view only.

She is so Happy!

She is in a new phase in her life.

(And subsequently, so am i.)

Embrace it Wendy.

Embrace it.

Relish in her accomplishments!

There are neighbors who've lived in my subdivision as long as i have, with children around my daughters' ages, and their children have not made this transition.  I am at least thankful that my daughters are confident enough to spread their wings and go out into this vast World and 

LIVE!

I hope and pray that they live it to their FULLEST!

=-)

Don't come back little bird, regardless of my feelings of loss.

Don't come back.

Go out there and Dream your Dreams!

Live your Life as fully as you possibly can!

Do that for me and i'll be happy.

=-)